TRADUZIONI

THE LETTER U ("La Lettera U", from "Fantastic Tales", 1869)


-U! U!
Did I write this terrible letter, this frightening vowel? Have I drawn it exactly? Have I traced it in all its trememdous precision, with all its fatal profiles, with its two despised ends, with its abhorred curve? Have I properly written down this letter, whose sound makes me shiver, whose sight fills me with terror?
Yes, I have written it.
Here it is again: U.
Look at it, observe it - do not fear, do not turn pale - have the courage to bear its view, to observe all its parts, to examine all the details, to win all the horror that it makes you feel... this U!...This fatal sign, this hated letter, this horrible vowel!
Have you seen it ?...What am I saying?...Who has not seen it, written it, pronounced it a thousand times?
I know; but I will ask you instead: who among you has studied it? Who has analyzed it, studying its form, its expression, its influence? Who has turned it into the subject of his investigations, of his spare time, of his vigils? Who has been thinking over it all the years of his life?
Because... you do not see but a meek letter in this sign, innocous like all the others; because habit has made you indifferent to it; because your apathy has turned you away from studying its character properly... but I...if only you knew what I have seen!...If only you knew what I have seen in this vowel!

U

Now, examine it with me.
Look at it, look at it well, attentively, without prejudice, but steady on!
So then, what do you think?
That line that curves and forks out - those two ends that stare at you motionless, who stare at each other motionlessly - those two small lines that inexorably, terribly cut off their extremities - that lower arch, on which the letter rocks, oscillates grinning - and inside, that black, that void, that horrible void that comes out of the opening of the two straight, upward lines and meets , getting lost, the infinity of space...
But you have seen nothing yet, come on!
Double your power of intuition, get into an investigative mood. Start from one of the two ends, follow that external curve, go down, get close to the arch, go underneath it, go up again, reach the other end...
what did you see?
Wait!
Do the same journey backwards.
Go down by the internal line - go down with courage, with energy, - reach the bottom, stop for a moment, observe it properly; then go up to the end whence you started earlier...
Are you shaking? Are you turning pale? This is nothing!
Pause for a moment on the two lines that cut off the extremities; go from one to the other; then watch the letter in its wholeness, look at it suddenly, examine all its aspects, understand its expression...and tell me that you are not paralyzed, that you do not feel beaten, that you are not horrified at that sight?!?!
Here.
I write down all the vowels: A E I O U
Do you see them? Are they these: A E I O U
So?
To see them it is not enough.
Let's hear their sounds:
A: the expression of sincerity, of honesty, a little surprise, but sweet.
E: kindness, tenderness, all expressed in just one sound.
I: What joy! Such alive and deep joy!
O: Such surprise! What wonder! But such a pleasant surprise!
Such a rough, masculine kind of honesty in this vowel!
Now let's hear the U: pronounce it. Get it out from the deep of your heart, but pronounce it properly:
U! Uh! Uhh!! Uhhh!!!!
Don't you go cold? Don't you shiver at this sound? Can't you hear the roar of the beast, the lament ofpain, all the voices of suffering and troubled nature?
Don't you comprehend that there is something hellish, something deep and dark in that sound? My God!
What a terrible letter! What a frightening vowel!

I want to tell you about my life.
I want you to know how this letter dragged me to guilt and to shameful and undeserved suffering.
I was born predestined. A terrible sentence pressed on me ever since the day I was born: my name included a U. From it came all the tragedies of my life
At the age of seven I started going to school.
An istinct, for which I ignored the cause, kept me from learning that letter, and to write it: every time
I had to read the vowels I would stop, much to my chagrin, once I got to the U; my voice would fail me, an indescribable panic took possession of me - I just could not pronounce that vowel!
And what about writing it? It was worse! My hand, so sure in tracing the other ones, would go all shaky and convulsive when I was on the verge of writing this one. Sometimes the lines would be too close, other times too distant from each other; I would write a straight V or a /\ upside down, there was no way I could draw the curve, often I could not help but tracing a confused and meandering scribble. The teacher used to hit me on my fingers with a stick - I would get offended and I used to cry.
I was twelve years old when one day I saw on the blackboard a huge U, like so:

U

I used to sit opposite the blackboard. That vowel there, seemed to be looking at me, staring at me to challenge me. I do not know what courage was suddenly born in my heart: the time of the revelation had come!
That letter and I were enemies; I accepted the challenge, put my face between my hands and started staring at it...I spent a few hours in that contemplation. It was then that I understood everything, that I saw everything that I have just told you, or tried to tell you, since to explain exactly is impossible.
I guessed the causes of my rejection, of my hate; and I schemed a mortal war against that letter.
I started by taking away as many books as I possibly could from my school-mates to erase all the Us that I could find. It was only the beginning of my revenge. I was kicked out of school.
I went back eventually, anyway. My teacher was called Aurelio Tubuni. Three Us! I despised him for it.
One day I wrote on the blackboard: DEATH TO U! He thought that threat was directed against him.
I was expelled again. I managed to go back a third time.
I presented then, for my exams, a project about the abolition of this vowel, its expulsion from the letters of the alphabet.
I was not understood, I was accused of madness. My friends, who knew about my adversion to that vowel, started a terrible campaign against me. I would see, I would find Us everywhere; they would write them in every place: in my books, on the walls, on the desks, on the blackboard - my papers were full of them: neither I could defend myself from this bloody and atrocious persecution. One day I found in my bag a postcard, on which was written a long series of Us in this hellish fashion:

U U U U u u u u

I became furious! The sight of all those Us in such a manner, written in such a horrific gradation, drove me insane.
I could feel the blood rising to my head, my rationale go to pieces... I ran to the school; I grabbed one of my school-mates by the throat and I would have strangled him if they had not taken him away from me.
It was the first guilty act to which that vowel had dragged me!
I was forbidden to continue my studies. Then I started living on my own, thinking, meditating, operating by myself.
I entered a new period, with a new method of observations, a more active, sophisticated system: I studied the relations that tied humanity's destinies to this fatal vowel; I found out all its traces, all its causes, I guessed all its laws; in five years of strenous effort, I wrote and elaborated a voluminous work, in which I proposed to demonstrate how all human calamities derived from no other causes but the existence of the U and from our use of it in language and writing, and how it was possible to suppress it and to find a remedy and prevent the evils it theatens us with.
Would you believe it? I could find no way to publish my work. Society refused from me the remedy that alone could cure it.
Aged twenty I fell in love with a girl, and I was loved back. She was kind and beautiful, heavenly. It was love at first sight; as soon as I was able to talk to her, I asked:
- What is your name?
-Ulrica.
-Ulrica! U. A U. It was horrible. How could I submit myself to the atrocious and relentless violence of that vowel?
My love meant everything to me, nonetheless I found the strenght to renounce it. I left Ulrica.
I tried to cure myself with a new love. I gave my heart to another girl. Would you believe it? I found out later that her name was Julia. I separated from her as well.
I had a third relationship. Experience had made me cautious: I found out her name before I gave her my heart.
Her name was Annetta. Finally! We planned our wedding, everything was done, ready, but at some point, examining her birth certificate, I discovered with horror that the name Annetta was short for Susanna, Susannetta, and beside - be horrified! - she had five other names: Postumia, Uriah, Umberta, Judith and Lucy. You can well imagine how horrified I was reading those names! - I tore the marriage licence into pieces on the spot, I threw in the face of that treacherous monster her ferocious betrayal, and left that house forever. Heaven had spared me again.
But, poor me! I could not love anymore, my affection was exhausted, beaten by so many terrible experiences.
Chance brought me back to Ulrica; the memories of my first love re-awakened, my passion burned more lively than previously...I wanted again to renounce her affection and the happiness that such affection promised me... but I did not have the guts to go on with it - we married.
From that moment my fight started. I could not tolerate the fact that she had a U in her name, I could not call her with such a name. My wife!... My companion, my beloved...to have a U in her name!...
She had made such a terrible addition to the family, since I already had one! It was impossible!
One day I said to her:
- My good friend, see how terrible this U is! Renounce it, shorten or change your name!...I beg you!
She did not answer, and smiled. Another time I told her:
-Ulrica, I can't bear your name...it hurts me...it's killing me! Renounce it!
My wife smiled again, the ungratefulk woman! She smiled!
One night I felt possessed by I don't know what sort of fury: I had had an anxious dream...a gigantic U had placed itself upon my chest, embracing me with its huge, supple lines...it squashed me...it weighed down on me...oppressing me...I jumped furiously out of the bed: I grabbed a cane and ran to a solicitor, and said to him:
- Come, come with me right away to write a formal act of renunciation....
That wretched man did not want to. I dragged him with me, to my wife's bed. She was asleep; I awoke her violently and said:
- Ulrica, renounce your name, the despicable U in your name!
My wife stared at me, remaining silent.
- Renounce it! - I repeated with a terrible tone, - renounce that U...renounce to your horrible name!
She still stared at me, and still remained silent!
Her silence, her refusal drove me mad: I threw myself against her and hit her with my cane. I was arrested and summoned to account for this violence.
The judges, absolving me, condemned me to a more atrocious sentence, being detained in this madhouse.
I, a madman! Scoundrels! Me, crazy! Because I discovered the secret of their destinies! Because I tried to better them!
Miserable ingrates!
Yes, I feel that this ingratitude will kill me: left here alone, with nothing to do! Face to face with my enemy, this hated U that I see every hour, every instant, in my sleep, when I am awake, in all the objects around me, I feel I will have to finally give up. Let it be.
I am not afraid of dying: I look forward to it, as the final cure to all my ills.
I would have been happy if I could have benefited humanity by persuading it to suppress that vowel;...if it had never existed at all, or if I had never known its mysteries.
It had been decided otherwise! Perhaps my tragedy will serve as a useful lesson to humanity; maybe my example will push them towards imitating me...I hope so!
May my death anticipate of a few days the era of their emancipation, the emancipation from the U, the emancipation from this terrible vowel!

The unhappy man who wrote this, died in the Milan madhouse on September 11, 1865.